


The Shadows Where We Hide

by Silver_Stargazer



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Reylo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-03-20 03:29:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18984316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver_Stargazer/pseuds/Silver_Stargazer
Summary: A week after the Resistance’s escape from the mining planet of Crait, Rey finds herself faced with new questions, challenges and feelings, each of which perplex her. As new villains rise and old foes become stronger, it becomes clear that she may require the help of the one man she wants to forget: the mighty Kylo Ren.





	1. Chapter 1

The stars blurred around her, leaving streaks of light in their wake. Leaning towards them, she basked in their glow. Surrounded by darkness, they continued to shine in swirls and specks as they glided through space. If she just kept gazing, maybe she too would blur into a perceived non-existence. To watch and wonder, but never feel, that is all she desired in this moment. Her body and mind ached for the blissful escape of sleep, but she knew not what would pervade her mind when she lost control in unconsciousness. She had built up a mental wall, but it took effort to reinforce, and after a week of non-stop concentration and little rest, it was beginning to crumble. Seven days was all it had taken. Seven days of survival, strategy and suffering. After fleeing Crait with only enough to fill the Falcon, the Resistance was torn in more ways than one. Losing so many so fast had taken its toll and an air of hopelessness began to pervade the ship. For days they had searched for a suitable planet on which to regroup, with Leia determined only to land when she was completely sure of the group’s safety. Though noble, this goal was unattainable as the Falcon was low on fuel and the crew low on moral. Eventually the general had given in to Poe’s pleas to “just choose a kriffing planet”. Which led them to this moment surrounded by stars on their way to Dathomir. After the disappearance of Maul, the planet had been widely disregarded as one of any value, and its neutrality meant they would not have to avoid any First Order bases. But the real reason that Leia chose the planet was rather simple: Han had won it in a card game many years before, and after his death it was now hers. This explanation had torn the young girl back into reality. Han’s death, how could she have forgotten? It was merely weeks before yet she had not thought about Han’s absence nearly enough. She had been busy, she reasoned, learning from Luke, protecting the Resistance, helping his… No, she pushed the thought away, refusing to acknowledge the pit in her stomach, the same one that had kept her awake each night ever since Crait. Whatever she was feeling, it had nothing to do with that man. The only emotion he could elicit from her was disgust. ‘He is a creature in a mask’ she reminded herself, ‘he has no mercy, no heart’. But if were that were true, then why had he saved her?

“Rey, you in here?”

Ripped from her wandering thoughts, Rey of Jakku looked up to see Finn approaching her. Dear Finn, her first friend, how had she not thought of him in so long? “We are going to touchdown in around an hour, why don’t you try to get some sleep, you look like a ghost.”

“Gee thanks.” Rubbing her eyes, Rey had to admit that she did feel a bit like a ghost, a phantom who does not belong in this reality. ‘What morbid thoughts, of course I belong here!’ She chastised herself. “I’m completely fine, really, don’t worry about-” The loud yawn elicited from the former scavenger ruined any chance of convincing him otherwise and with a raised eyebrow on Finn’s part she sighed and resigned to her quarters. She was lucky to have the room to herself, as she usually shared it with Connix and Rose. Despite her mind clamoring for her to avoid any loss of control, her body took over as she curled up on her bunk. Suddenly her eyelids must have had stones weighing them down as she could not keep them open. Slowly, her consciousness began to slip away and with it her barrier. She could see it, shifting and blurring and it slowly crumbled away. With all her remaining strength she tried to rebuild it, but it was too late, she had been pulled beyond it, into a place buried beneath the rubble.


	2. Chapter 2

The world was white. The ground appeared to glow and the air around her sparkled. She had only seen such a thing once before, in what felt like another lifetime. With an outstretched hand she dared to touch the substance that surrounded her, brushing it off a low hanging branch. Her fingers stung at the touch, she never knew something could be so cold. ‘Where am I?’ Rey dared to glance about her surroundings. If she didn’t know better, she would believe that she was back on Starkiller. But no, she had fled that wretched place and watched it burn with her own eyes. So then how could she be standing here, right where she had once fought him? The snow crunched beneath her feet as she began to trek deeper into this memory. She could see the aftermath of their battle: scorch marks on trees, fallen branches, patches of snow stained red. What was she doing here? Why did the force chose now to remind her of their first battle? Pushing her way through the forest, she emerged at the edge of the casim that had separated them only a month before. She breathed deeply, closing her eyes. ‘Why are you showing me this?’ The force had no response, why would it? It’s not like it could actually ans-

“Rey…”

That voice, she knew that voice. Heart beating, she turned to see the person she most wanted- no, most dreaded to see. He stood tall and menacing, a sharp black contrast against the white landscape surrounding them. His attire was just as it was during their first connection, yet the look on his face was entirely different. His jaw set, eyes wide, the mighty Kylo Ren looked to be in almost physical pain. The gleam in his gaze was something she could not place, yet seeing it made her heart skip a beat. Her mind spun, how dare he make her feel like this!

“You’re back.”

The sound of his voice yet again spurred her into action.

“You coward!” Before he could stop her, Rey had launched herself toward him, punching him square in the jaw. “You liar, you beast!” This time his hand stopped her incoming blow just inches from his nose.

“You have already marred my face once, I would appreciate if you didn’t do so again.” Wrenching out of his grasp, she went in for another attack. “Rey, stop.” Her elbow connected with his stomach, which infuriatingly seemed to have no effect on him. If only she had her staff, she would pumble him into reason. “Don’t make me restrain you, Rey.” ‘A kick to the gut should do it’, yet before she could take action she found her back against a tree. She tried to slip from his grasp but his grasp around her wrists was firm. “You forget that I can hear your thoughts.”

“Let me go!”

“Will you keep attacking me?”

“Yes!”

“Well then I can’t do that.” A small smirk played across his lips, “You’re as stubborn as ever, I see.”

“How can you speak to me like nothing has happened, like you didn’t betray me!” She shouted, face contorted in rage. “You let my friends die!”

“You think I don’t remember? That I don’t remember how I sacrificed everything for you, how you turned your back on me the second you had the chance? Who is the real betrayer here Rey?”

“Then fight me!” She lifted her chin, making eye contact with him for the first time since she had closed the bond. Her gaze contained a burning rage, and while his also contained a fire of sorts, it was not quite the same. His eyes softened as her challenge.

“No.”

“Why not?!” Her eyes burned with tears, why was he playing with her like this? Kylo Ren gave no answer. He simply stared back at her unflinchingly. “Why?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there all! This is my first fanfic and the response has already been better than I could have imagined! Thank you so much for reading and keep leaving comments and kudos, and feel free to comment any suggestions/commentary💕

Rey shot up, hitting her head on the bunk looming above. ‘What just happened?’ Bringing a hand to her head, the young jedi was shaking. He had even begun to pervade her dreams, how far she had fallen. She had never had a dream feel so real, she could still feel the shadow of his touch around her wrists. Why hadn’t he fought back, protected himself? It was so unlike him, to turn down a fight, but then again this wasn’t the real Kylo Ren she was dealing with. The man in her mind was much gentler. It was clear that in her unconsciousness she had not conjured a fantasy of the Supreme Leader, but one of Ben Solo. The way he had looked at her, like he was burning just from her touch, it had been enough to make her heart catch in her throat. Shaking her head, Rey almost laughed. It was amazing, how her mind had been able to invent such a ludacris scene. Kylo Ren showing mercy? You’d be more likely to encounter a Bantha piloting a star ship. But below the humor of it all, Rey felt a shame with which she was unaccustomed. Sure, she had encountered said emotion back on Jakku, where one had to do close to anything to survive, but this was different. She hadn’t done anything wrong, right? It’s not as if she can control her dreams. ‘But you can control your desires, can’t you?’ Quickly, Rey pushed the thought away. Climbing out of her bunk, she pulled on her boots and tied her hair back, doing her best to look at least mildly presentable. Making her way to the cockpit, Rey did her best to push away any further thoughts on  _ that  _ subject.

 

“Rey, you’re awake, how are you feeling?”

 

The warm smile spread across General Organa’s face brought Rey back to reality.

 

“Much better, thank you,” Rey replied earnestly, “how are you? Finn told me what happened, are you sure you are alright?” Chuckling, Leia took Rey by the arm, guiding her to the front of the ship.

 

“It seems that’s all you young people know how to ask, yes I am perfectly alright. I’ve been in tougher squeezes before that little space walk, believe me.” Though skeptical, Rey decided to save any unnecessary worrying for when it was truly warranted, and the general did seem in good health. Walking through the door to the cockpit, Chewy provided a low growl in greeting.

 

“How far are we Commander Dameron?” Rey glanced at the young pilot. He certainly was attractive, but in such an obvious way that she found herself almost unimpressed. ‘Where did that come from?’ She couldn’t help but wonder, ‘I can’t remember the last time I had an opinion on a man’s looks.’ Truthfully, she could only think of a handful of times, each of which she refused to acknowledge. 

 

“Please, call me Poe.” He flashed her a dazzling smile, prompting one in return. “We’re about twenty klicks from the planet, so I would recommend gathering your things, we won’t be on this ship much longer!”

  
  


☆☆☆

 

After an impressive landing on Poe’s part, the resistance filed out of the Falcon, eager to see the base which Leia had told them about.

 

“Now please be aware, Han and I had this place built years ago,” the General announced, “so I am unsure the exact condition in which we will find it, but we should be safe here.” The group followed their ageing leader through the red haze that blanketed the surface, until they reached a cliff face not two klicks from where they landed. The general approached the rocky surface, tracing her hands over the weathered stone. Slowly she pressed down on an especially smooth stone, revealing a hidden door built within the mountain.

 

“So…” Finn scratched his head, “you’ve owned a mountain this whole time? And we’re just coming here now?” Leading them through the door, Leia shook her head.

 

“Believe me, this place is better left untouched.” A long dark passage led the group into a large cavern which seemed to light up when they entered. Though barron, the first cave contained boxes of supplies, from dried foods to weapons. Another door revealed a hallway of rooms, each with enough room for a bed and a small desk. Finally, a third cavern contained multiple communication devices, dusty but still active, as well as a long table covered in what appeared to be maps.

 

“What do you mean general?” Finn was wide-eyed, “This place is perfect! We have food, shelter, even a real bed for each of us!” Leia nodded, a small smile on her face.

 

“It will have to do. Now all of you go get settled, we have a lot of work to do in the morning.

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave comments and kudos!

The room was small, it’s stone walls rough with age, and the un-oiled hinges of the door split Rey’s ears as she entered, yet it was just what she needed. A space, no matter how small, that was specifically hers. Though she loved having so many new comrades and friends, the scavenger in her could not help but need a little space after so many cramped nights on the Falcon. Setting her few possessions down on the desk, Rey breathed a sigh of relief. The resistance was safe, for now, and she could finally have time in solitude, as she was accustomed to. Laying down on the bed, she closed her eyes and let her mind drift. She could feel how strong the force was on this planet, it’s roots dug especially deep to the north of the base. ‘Could there be another temple there?’ She found herself asking, ‘like the one on Ach-to?’ If so, she was determined to discover it, but not today. 

Slowly she began to fall into a sort of meditative calm, at peace with the world around her. It was a relief to have her busy mind finally silenced, not churning over survival strategies, lightsaber repairs, dreams or even that infuriating bo- Rey gasped, shooting straight up. The bond! She hadn’t been focusing on her mental block, no wonder she suddenly felt so relaxed. Closing her eyes, she probed her mind, looking for the connection, it wasn’t hard to find. It was if there was a live wire in her subconscious just waiting to be sparked, and the second it opened, it was too late, her walls were down for good. A warm feeling crept through her chest, slowly spreading through her entire body. The room was suddenly mute, as if pulled out of an airlock and into space, except for the sound of their breathing. Afraid to open her eyes, Rey gritted her teeth, begging the force to make the man in her room disappear. Of course, he didn’t, and despite her prayers she could still sense him after what felt like an eternity. Slowly, she opened her eyes to find Kylo Ren standing in her new bedroom. His brown eyes were on her, brow furrowed, and as she stared back at him an odd feeling of tension formed.

“Get out.” He seemed startled by her sudden statement, but soon his stare turned defiant. 

“You know I can’t, even if I tried-”

“Then try harder,” Her icy gaze faltered, “I don’t want to see you.” He looked away as well, turning his attention to the small window above the desk.

“You think I want to see you? That this bond isn’t as big of a nuisance to me as it is to you? But unlike you, I don’t waste time whining about something I can’t control.” At that, Rey was flustered, how dare he! Jumping up, she swiftly approached him.

“Oh I whine?! That’s real fresh coming from you, all you ever do is complain about what you do and don’t have!”

“Well at least I try to take control of my destiny,” turning towards her, Kylo leaned closer, “that’s more than you can say for yourself. Always sitting on the sidelines, waiting for someone to help you achieve your goals. First your parents, then Han and finally Skywalker, and look at them, all utter disappointments. And look at you now, right back where you started: alone” Merely a few inches from one another, the two force users glared at one another, waiting for one to eventually back down.

“Han and Luke were not disappointments, you killed them! At least I have people who mean something to me, it is clear that you care for nothing and no one but yourself!” At this, Kylo glanced away, vindicating her.

“You act like you know everything about me, but you don’t.”

“Oh I thought I knew you, but you're right, it’s clear that you are more irredeemable than I ever imagined. You’re a-” she paused, faltering.

“What? A monster?” He slowly shook his head, again locking eyes with her, “Feel free to call me that, you already know that I can’t disagree.” Yet even with his affirmation, Rey could not form the words that once fell out of her so easily. He stood there tense, as if waiting for the blow that would come with her words, but they never came. She just held his gaze, mouth slightly agape, unsure what to say, until he vanished as if never there. Like putting out a fire, the flame was gone, but she was still choking on the heat.


	5. Chapter 5

The coming weeks passed in monotones routine. As the Resistance’s most proficient mechanic, Rey found herself knee deep in dismantled engines, attempting to give the remaining X-wings a fighting chance. The rhythm of fixing what is broken, that is what had kept her sane all those years alone, and now she found herself yet again calmed by the action. She wished everything in life was as simple as this. A loose screw? Tighten it. A faulty converter? Replace it. A broken man? A twisted soul? What about an unsure heart? Such things could not be fixed so easily. Shaking her head, Rey focused on the ship in front of her. It was barely in one piece, with the bolts either missing or eschew, yet she would not give up yet. If she reconstructed the outer hull using scrap metal, and reinforced the thrusters, she should be able to…

“You’re worse off than I thought, the scrap metal industry isn’t exactly lucrative you know.” The deep voice behind her startled her, the bond had not made itself known immediately as it usually did. Rather, it felt as if a light prickle beneath her skin formed once the sound of his voice hit her. Whipping around, she held the screw driver she was grasping in front of her in an attack position, only inches from nose.

“Why is it that whenever we meet, you are perched to strike?” A slight smirk pulled at the edge of his lips, “Is it possible that you are afraid to have a civilized conversation with me?”

“You are far from civilized!” The young girl growled, yet she slowly lowered her arm, loosening her grip slightly. “And for your information this is not scrap, though to an untrained eye such as your own it would be easy to become confused.” He couldn’t help but scoff at the confidence in which she fired back at him. He had become accustomed to the weak minded subordinates that surrounded him daily. One word from him would send them to their knees, yet she was different. Staring at him now, eyes so defiant, she was a whole different breed, and he felt his heart tighten. Quickly he broke her gaze, focusing on the point just above her head.

“Then do enlighten me, with your wide technological prowess, what it is you are attempting.” Rolling her eyes, Rey turned away from the black clad figure before her.

“I was trying to reassemble this damaged X-Wing when you so graciously interrupted.” Circulling the heep of a ship, Kylo shook his head,

“Don’t you have anything better to do than trying to rebuild that hunk of junk?”

“Don’t you have anything better to do than critique how I spend my time?” 

“All I mean is,” glancing at her, he tilted his head, “wouldn’t the Resistance be having you do slightly more important work than this? Such as rebuilding your lightsaber?” This statement threw her off.

“My lightsaber? Haven’t you always claimed that it is yours, that I stole it from you?” He shrugged, looking almost sheepish.

“You… you have proven yourself to be capable enough to wield it. It may be mine by legacy, but for now it appears to belong to you.” Locking eyes, the two force users seemed to be deep in thought. Rey almost smiled, but contained her sentiment. Just as she was about to turn back to her work, she heard one last remark,

“Maybe, I’ll help you repair it one day.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry for the hiatus, but I'm back in full swing so please enjoy this new chapter, and feel free to leave questions, comments and kudos!

That night Rey found herself restless. Every time she tried to relax her mind would go back to their earlier conversation. What did he mean, saying he might “help her one day”? She was his enemy, that much was clear, therefore no such situation would ever arise, not unless one of them seriously compromised their beliefs. Rolling over in her bunk, she buried her face in her pillow. Why did he have to play such mind games? The effect he had on her was something she could only admit in moments like this, covered in the soft blanket of darkness. His cold exterior and generally poor bedside manner were easy to identify, but beyond that there was something else. Just below the surface, Kylo Ren was almost… desperate. But for what? Power? Revenge? He had achieved both yet appeared less content than ever. What could the dictator of a mighty regime, practically the king of the universe, want? Squeezing her eyes shut, Rey struggled for an answer to her endless questions, but the reality was; how could she ever know what the Supreme Leader of The First Order wants, when she can’t even answer that question herself? 

Sitting up, Rey swung herself out of her bunk, landing nimbly on the stone ground below. It appeared that sleep would be alluding her for the night. Pulling on her boots, a jacket and her staff, she headed out of her quarters. ‘Might as well take this time to explore the surface’. Slowly, she crept passed her friends doors, smiling when she heard Finn’s telltale snores. Picking up her pace, Rey headed to the exit. The further she walked through the compound the more it seemed to squeeze in on her, until she found herself practically sprinting to the exit, breathing fast. She needed the sky and the stars and the breeze in her hair. Unlocking the door, the young scavenger slipped out into the open air, quietly shutting the door behind her. The red earth was soft beneath her feet, signaling the presence of rain. The slight drizzle fell down to her, welcoming her. Striding forward, Rey began north of the base. Heading into the dense jungle, gnarled root reaching out to her. A red haze hung over the surface, making it hard to anticipate her surroundings and heightening her awareness of the force. She went on for what felt like hours, following paths of erosion, cutting through underbrush, until she found herself at the mouth of a small cavern. At the sight of the cave, the force seemed to swell around her, almost propelling her toward the entrance. She could almost her Luke’s voice.

“Resist it Rey! Don’t let darkness deceive you.”

Yet she could also hear another voice, this one softer;

“Take control of your destiny.” Stepping into the cavern, Rey could barely make out her surroundings. Smooth stone surrounded her, with minor etchings scattered across the interior. Approaching one, she could just make out the outline of a woman, lips turned town in a grimace. Leaning in to inspect the carving, she glimpsed two lines in the woman’s hands, held in an offensive stance.

“Are those…?” 

“Lightsabers”. The sound of his voice behind her should have startled her, but instead it felt almost natural. Because who else would be here? One thing could be said about Kylo, when it came to showing up, he was always reliable. 

“Who is she?”

“Assage Ventress, a darksider during the Clone Wars.” She could feel him approaching from behind, but kept her gaze fixed on the portrait.

“She looks sad.” Rey blurted, fingers brushing across the cool stone. 

“She would be,” Kylo breathed, breath tickling her ear, “she was betrayed both brutally and often.”

“By who?”

“Her Sith master, Count Dooku.” Rey almost laughed,

“Well of course, he was a Sith.”

“You believe betrayal is a Sith attribute?” She could have sworn he had stepped even closer, with only inches between them, but she would have to turn to discern that, and there was no way he was going to get that satisfaction.

“An order which does not care for anything or anyone but themselves and their pursuit of power are destined to betray one another. So yes, the Sith betray, not the Jedi.”

“Then why did Luke betray me?” He uttered this so softly it took her a second to register what he had said. The emotion in his voice had caught her off-guard, so raw, such that signals the feeling of a fresh wound. Before she could stop herself, Rey had whipped around and put her arms around his waist hugging him tight. Kylo froze under her touch, but just as she was about to pull away and blame the increased presence of the force, his arms closed around her, securing her in his grasp. Her head reached his collar bone and she rested it there. He was much warmer than she expected. With such a pale complexion and industrial surroundings, she assumed he would be cold to the touch, but instead he was warm and solid, wrapping her in his arms. He smelled like metal and leather and something distinctly him, almost sweet but with a sharp edge. Breathing him in, Rey found herself wanting this moment to be sustained for a lifetime, but she knew reality would come crashing down, it always does. So for now she would enjoy this small moment of peace.


	7. Chapter 7

The weeks past in a monotonous fashion, leaving Rey with a looming sense of emptiness. It had been almost a month since she had so foolishly embraced her enemy. Part of her was thankful he hadn’t appeared again, but another part of her, something deeper and harder to deny, itched to turn around and see her own personal phantom. He didn’t even seem real anymore. How could someone so cold and sharp on the battlefield be so open and… well not quite kind. That is a word that could never truly be used to describe Kylo Ren. No, he wasn’t the definition of kind, but a piece of Rey would have been disappointed if he was. He was tough, honest and brutal, yet he could also be gentle and understanding if only he let himself. These thoughts were pushed to the back of her mind, never too close to the surface. She couldn’t afford to let her delusions of who he could be distract her from who he was: a monster, one who she was charged with defeating. This mission was heavy on her mind as she sat in the command room of their still relatively new base. Leia has called a meeting for all in the resistance and she could only assume it would be about their next move against the First Order.

“Thank you all for gathering today!” The general’s voice filled the room, silencing all in attendance. “I have called all of you together today to announce our fist distinct plan of action after the tragedy on Crait. Commander Dameron and I have mulled over our offensive options extensively and have come to a decision. We will send out small recruitment squadrons all around the outer rim, with the singular goal of reaching out to those who seek freedom from the First Order.”

Though she knew this was the right course of action, Rey’s heart tightened. Kylo would be allowed to rule another day. Reasonably the young Jedi knew there was no way to take down the regime now, with such dwindling numbers. But despite this, her gut was screaming at her to end this now. Because the longer Ben was their, the more poisoned his heart became. Leia’s voice brought her back to reality.

“Squadrons will be assigned within the next rotation. Let the force be with us all.” With that the meeting adjourned and Rey began her journey back to the hanger and her ongoing repairs to the Falcon. Walking swiftly down the stone corridors, Rey felt something ripple through the force deep within her bones. Footsteps slowing, she closed her eyes and intently grasped the energy around her. Once her mental grasp took hold of the odd sensation, it was like grasping a string. It was solid and somehow she just knew it led somewhere. Slowly she began to follow the thread the force had provided, eventually picking up her pace until she was jogging down the twisted hallways, going deeper and deeper into the base. Her feet carried her faster and faster until her body was pushed to the ground by an almost invisible boundary. The thread had come to an end. Picking herself up, Rey took a moment to take in her surroundings. She had found herself in a small room with high, ornate stone ceilings. The walls were of rough stone except the two large glass windows on one end of the room. The multicolored glass sparkles even in the dull light and cast a red glow around the room. At the center of the unique light was an altar of sorts, made of crumbing wood. Careful as not to disturb it, the former scavenger crept forward to look closer at the ancient looking stand. As she approached, she finally caught sight of a large, dark book sitting atop the altar. It’s deep black binding made it blend in with the shadows dancing around the room. Carefully, she reached out a tentative hand and wiped a layer of dust off the cover. Deep silver script gleamed underneath: Sisters of the Night


End file.
